Wednesday, May 02, 2012

Finding Time

I've been struggling to find my way back home for a while. For about the past year, I've been feeling too busy to do more than put laundry in the dryer, let alone journal with my camera. Pondering on the subject for some time, I believe I can credit my dislocation to two developments:

1) Having teenagers.  Now at last I understand why my friends with teenagers always have a "running between appointments" look to them, and why they were always so busy, no matter what time of the year or day of the week it was.  I have joined the treadmill: my third daughter becomes a teen this month. And our teens are not overly scheduled, nor are they involved in any activities besides school -- but yet, they are older, and managing their schedules and emotions takes time -- time previously spent gazing at an infant sleeping or watching toddlers discover their fingers. Now my time with my children is spent not watching but talking -- teaching, arguing, discovering, or just having a conversation.  My life is less silent. For now.

2) Needing to work. Alas, my professional duties continue to intrude onto my life and the computer has become a taskmaster.  How can I complain?  I do work I love, I work with people I love, and I feel my work is both useful and necessary, but yet, it takes time.  And the screen preoccupies me more than my teenagers, sad to say.

So this summer I hope to find my way back home, somehow.  Today I put my teen son's laptop by the window to work, with a pot of tea cozied beside it.  I tried to look out the window at the games goint on  outside, and to take time to watch my children who are growing up so fast.  I hope to journal again, and seek out the moments of beauty to share.  Thank you for faithfully reading.  Let us continue to pray for one another.

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